NOT LETTING AGE DEFINE MY LIFE OR STYLE

Bittersweet Shoes: Review of Topshop Judy Bow Shoes

'Elf & safety warning: for those of a sensitive nature there is one expletive in this review but no strobe lighting and definitely no clowns.

Now on with the review.  The like of which, has never been written.

That moment when you receive the text to say your order has arrived.  Sharp intake of breath.

That moment when after collecting your order, you scuttle home like a demented Gollum, muttering

"My Precious! O my Precious!"

That moment when you open the box and you can see one tip of a toe peeking through the tissue and you actually squeal with excitement.

Judy Bow Shoes, Topshop | Petite Silver Vixen

That moment when you get them out of the box and you sit and stare at them for 5 hours in complete wonder.  Ok, it felt like 5 hours.  Probably only 5 minutes.

That moment when you say; 

"OMG, they are just as divine in real life as when I saw them online."

Judy Bow Shoes, Topshop | Petite Silver Vixen

That moment when you delicately place them side on, just so you can admire them from another angle, for another 5 hours in complete wonder.  Probably only 5 minutes.

That moment when you think, could shoes look any more elegant than these?

That moment when you ponder; if these shoes were chocolate, I'd eat them, they look so blinkin' delicious.

Judy Bow Shoes, Topshop | Petite Silver Vixen

That moment when you sit on the floor and slip them on and you stare at your feet for another 5 hours in complete wonder. Really, actually for 5 hours this time.

That moment when you think you are THE MOST STYLISH WOMAN THAT EVER LIVED.  

Coco Chanel?  Pah.

Judy Bow Shoes, Topshop | Petite Silver Vixen

That moment when you look down .... those of a sensitive nature look away - expletive coming... and say;

"F**k me, could these shoes look any more divine with my cigarette pants than they already do?"

That moment when you realise how many outfits will go off the Richter scale, in terms of sartorial swag, you understand, when you wear these shoes.

That moment when you wish you had a private jet you could hop aboard, so you could fly to Paris and effortlessly swan around the boulevards of St Germain whilst wearing them and receive envious glances and gallic sounds of admiration.

That moment when ...

Judy Bow Shoes, Topshop | Petite Silver Vixen

... you try and take a step and realise that you can't actually walk in the b*ggers.

That moment when you realise that your right foot is slip slopping out of the shoe when you walk, like a bar of soap in well-lathered hands.

That moment when you realise your toes are in pain from the death grip of too narrow a pointy toe, despite what the one review on the website says about them being 'perfect shoes', and 'so cute and comfortable, even with my wider fit feet'.

Wider fit feet?  Crikey, mine are like the greyhounds of the foot world - sleek, I tell you, SLEEK and these are not comfortable.

That moment when your footwear fantasy comes tumbling down, like a jenga tower when one too many blocks have been removed from the stack.

That moment when no amount of toe wiggling and heel glueing is going to make a blind bit of difference and really, you should just resign yourself to that one, indisputable fact, that is stark staring you in the face but which you don't want to accept.

That moment when you realise that you agree with small voice of reason when it says;

"You're going to have to return them."

Yes.

That

moment

when.

Judy Bow Shoes, Topshop | Petite Silver Vixen

Judy Bow Shoes, Topshop | Petite Silver Vixen

So au revoir, beautiful Judy Bow Shoes with your leopard pony effect and block heels.  Parting is such bittersweet sorrow. Sadly, you are just not beautiful enough in the way I need you to be, to keep you.

If, by any micro chance, and 'oh, there goes a flying purple pig', someone from Topshop actually reads this - don't fret my lovelies.  I do have pointy shoes I bought from you guys, which ARE divine and are beautiful in the way I need them to be, to keep them and you can read all about them on my recent Date Night.

Have you had any bittersweet shoes?  Pray tell in the comments below.

Tip of the week: if they ain't comfortable, they ain't worth it, however utterly divine they look with your cigarette pants.

Judy Bow Shoes

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32 comments

  1. Oooh...I so feel your pain! As much as I'm a shoe girl and absolutely love them...there is one huge drawback---you can't alter them. Oh sure, you can try to stretch them a bit and add the shoe sizers, but they have to be close....because painful feet are not a girl's friend! Those are a beautiful shoe, but the nice thing is there are tons more where they came from, right? Can't wait to see what you get instead!! jodie
    www.jtouchofstyle.com

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    1. Yup, with clothes you can have a nip there, a tuck there but with shoes there's none. And my feet need to be comfortable. Onwards and upwards with the shoe trail!

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  2. I know just what you mean, had my share of bad shoes. And I once tossed one pair in the bin while on a ferry to Stockholm, very lucky that I had brought another, less pretty, pair for sightseeing the following day...

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    1. I was about to say, that's a bit rash Tiina - but phew, you had a second pair on standby! There's nothing worse than sore feet when sightseeing.

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  3. I know that feeling too well! I have "been though" hundreds of shoes...quite literally.
    I have kept, more than a few, too pretty to send back but utterly unwearable.
    My feet are boney (there is not a more feminine way of putting it) boney is the only word. Anything that is not a perfect fit, rubs and is exceptionally sore. I can get away with socks (2+ pairs) in some styes but a shoe like this would have to be perfect!
    How disappointing for you.
    Looking on the bright side though....an excuse to look for another pair (or two).
    XXX
    Samantha
    Fake Fabulous

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    1. It's especially hard when they're beautiful, isn't it but no more the unwearable! Nowadays, I'm absolutely ruthless so back they went today. Another two pairs??? Now don't tempt me!!!!

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  4. Tis better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all...Yes, we've all been there. They looked divine, so exquisite and fab with black trousers. Like like all love affairs that end badly, you just have to learn from them. xxx

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    1. Very wise words Anna. Moving on to new loves!

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  5. I love this post because your disclaimer cracked me up. I HATE when I find THE shoe and it doesn't work. That actually happened to me at Topshop while in NYC too. I bought another pair that I have ended up loving even more. Hope you can find something that works for you that is equally as chic. I want these!! they really look like the perfect shoe.

    Amy Ann
    Straight A Style

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    1. I'm not sensitive to the odd swear word but I know some readers might so thought this was a good way of doing it - glad it cracked you up! It's so annoying, isn't it. They really did look like the perfect shoe but sometimes our shoe fantasy doesn't match the reality. I think I know the ones you mean - the lace Ghillies you wore to the fashion event? They are wonderful.

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  6. I really do feel your pangs of sadness as you wave goodbye to these gorgeous looking shoes but as we all have learnt through bitter experience our feet don't change and the shoes don't miraculously fit , sometimes they just have to go.
    I recently took several beautiful pairs of shoes that look good but I can't wear to my local recycled clothing store.
    Another better fitting pair will come your way to ease the pain of parting with these little beauties.

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    1. Bitter indeed and comfort has to come first in my book! Good for you for taking yours to a recycling clothing store. Hopefully, they'll find feet to match them.

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  7. Aww no I'm so sorry that these shoes didn't work out for you, especially given how much you love them!

    I'll look past fit issues on clothes but shoes if they aren't right, they will never get worn, they aren't worth the pain! At least you can return them, and use the fund towards another pair of perfect shoes when you come across them.

    Away From The Blue Blog

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    1. Couldn't agree more Mica. Clothes I can live with but shoes - they have to be right. On to the next pair!

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  8. Ha ha! What a great read : P Even though I am devastated for you. How many times has this happened to me in my life? I've stopped counting really. My feet are the most annoyingly sensitive part of my body I fear. Always bitching about something, "too tight, too loose, too hard..." They're NEVER happy, so I feel your pain lady. Literally.

    How many times has my brain tried to convince (and rather well I might add) that my feet were simply too demanding and that they just needed to "get used" to the shoes. Of course I've fallen for it...way too many times than I'd like to admit. I still have at least 1/3 of all my shoes that are 5-10 minute shoes, or rather, car-restaurant-car shoes. And there better not be any walking between the car and the restaurant. We need valet service for those damn shoes.

    Why can't they make shoes more comfortable? They can put a whole computer in one microchip...but to make a heel that is comfortable is apparently too difficult. {sigh}...you can tell I have strong feelings about this matter! : )

    bisous
    Suzanne

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    1. Ha, ha, Suzanne, your essay cracked me up and I was nodding the whole way through. You get it off your chest, lady! I'm with you all the way on this! We have a phrase here - car-to-bar. Well great if you have a chauffeur and you can park right outside where you want to go but the reality is often buses, trains, walking before arriving at destination point! I've learned to listen to my demanding feet - it's not worth the backchat otherwise!

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  9. One of the best reviews I've ever read! Shame the shoes turned out to be a disappointment but you are right, if they are not comfortable what's the point to keep them.

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    1. Yay, thank you Olga. So many reviews can be dull and/or saccharine so I wanted to do something a little off piste! Exactly no point keeping them if they don't work.

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  10. This post is hilarious. I laughed so much. I know, not nice. You just had such a terrible experience. Hahaha. Sorry. It is so recognizable. And you were so sensible. I had the same experiece with beautiful blue high heeled pumps. In the sale even. They were too narrow. I thought. So I ordered half a size up. Slipped out them completely and ... here it comes... decided to keep the smaller size and have them stretched at the cobblers. After three times stretching I gave them to my next door neighbour. Stupid me.
    Greetje

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    1. Excellent, I'm glad you liked the humour! It seems so many of us have had the same experience. Oh, Greetje, I've done that too - taken a pair to the cobblers in the vain hope they'll be able to do something and they never can. At least those blue high heeled pumps went to a good home!

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  11. Nooo....what a tragedy! Seriously, that so completely sucks. Those were some sweet shoes my friend. And I love that you say f**k me...that's a phrase I have in regular rotation...lol!
    Debbie
    www.fashionfairydust.com

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    1. It sucks more when you're excited about what you've ordered. Still, plenty more shoes in the sea!

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  12. What a great post!! So hard to part with coveted shoes and tragedy when alas the comfort level stinks!!! I've been there and feel your pain! Thank you for linking it with the inaugural My Refined Style! We'll see you next month, maybe with a gorgeous pair that fit perfect!!

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    1. You won't have to wait long. My affection has been transferred to another pair!! It's just not worth painful feet, is it.

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  13. Hah! I think we've all been there. They are VERY cute. Such a shame they didn't love your feet back.

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    1. I was tempted for about a millisecond to put them in a glass case like a museum piece but then sanity returned!

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  14. Oh my. I am soooo sorry. Those were, indeed, divine looking shoes. Still, I agree. If they hurt, they have to go back.

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    1. True. I'm not in the 'no gain, no pain' party. If they look good but don't do their job, they go back!

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  15. Oh - I think we've all been there before! What a bummer that these fit so horribly, they are so pretty to look at.

    Thank you for being a part of TBT Fashion link up and hope to see you Thursday.

    Alice
    www.happinessatmidlife.com

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    1. They were gorgeous to look at but plenty more shoes to try!

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  16. Oh, sadness all around!!! So loved reading this funny post. I feel your pain, nothing like finding your perfect slipper and realizing it will never do. These are gorgeous shoes.

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  17. T'was sad indeed especially as the style of the shoes was so up my street!

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